It has come to my troubling attention that the ants are mad. No, THEY ARE PISSED. While I was out, they sent me an email in which stated, "We, the Ants, need to tell you about how the struggle to demonstrate conclusively that the food ANTS-ON-A-LOG is hell-bent on suppressing our freedom, both locally in our new blue world and nationwide. We realize that some of you may not know the particular background details of this "food" (you humans like to call it) that we're referring to. We're not going to go into those details here, but you can read up on it elsewhere, for example: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Ants-on-a-Log/Detail.aspx. You won't hear about ANTS-ON-A-LOG in the media, or really even spoken of in public much anymore, but we feel that the food ANTS-ON-A-LOG is offensive, and we have observed it to be also sinister, gutless, and mostly profligate. These descriptions seem the most appropriate adjectives to describe ANTS-ON-A-LOG's prognostications. You have been warned. So, humans, do you want this "food" you so adore to be referred to as GUTLESS? If the question overwhelms you, we suggest you stop eating this mockery of which you refer to our species IMMEDIATELY. On a closing note, we hope that this letter, while incomplete, informal, and having no authority except its own inner strength and conviction, has clearly demonstrated to you that we're not saying anything you don't already know about.
Down with ANTS-ON-A-LOG,
Sincerely,
The Ants."
I can honestly say I'm a bit frightened for my life. But what concerns me more than anything is, HOW DID THEY GET INTERNET ACCESS. I suppose the ants are further along in their evolution than I thought. YIKES.
1 comment:
Sorry, forgot to tell you I let them borrow my computer at lunch today. I thought they needed some mental stimulation after all the digging.
What kind of ant-rancher would I be if I didn't at least let them run free occasionlly?
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